"YOU ARE NOT A MAN!!" She exclaimed as tears rolled down her face.
Ouch, that hurt.
Well, it was true. I was a hurt little boy for most of my "adult" life.
Today. Yes! International Men's Day in 2020!
The day in which fathers, brothers, grandfathers, uncles are recognized. I see you. So much love.
This post may trigger you. I will not apologize for that.
I will not be celebrating!
I will not celebrate while suicide rates rise.
I will not celebrate the dysfunctionality.
I will not celebrate the excessive use of porn, guns, power, alcohol, drugs, violence, rape, and wars.
Because if we're celebrating that, I'm not interested.
I am interested in celebrating change. Change for this planet. Transformation for humanity.
International Men's day is for men, not for boys.
I see a lot of boys.
I see a lot of boys disguised as men. Walking around doing "their thing."
Doing everything, except doing the work that's necessary to grow the fuck up.
Does this trigger you? Then maybe you are one of them.
It triggers me. Why?
Look at my feed? Does it look like women are happy with disconnected, angry, untrustworthy men? No. They. Are. Not.
This is not to shame or guilt you. But to maybe wake you up to the reality that authentic, wholesome women are dissatisfied in relationships.
They've been heartbroken, disappointed, and afraid to open their heart to hurt little boys.
If you are a man and want to be in a thriving relationship, you need to grow up.
Your inner child needs to grow up; your boy needs to die; your adolescent behaviour needs to be put down. You don't need to "man up," you need to find courage, be brave, and grow up. Be a man who does the necessary work to receive the life and love you desire. Because it won't only transform your relationships, but it will impact all parts of your life when you reconnect with your authentic self—the real, wholesome you.
I'm not condemning men exclusively in heterosexual relationships. Both sides are responsible for any relationship, regardless of gender. But you are responsible for fifty percent of the one hundred percent, ALL DAY LONG.
It's easy to blame. To point fingers. To look the other way.
Yeah, absolutely. I get it.
Our responsibility as a HU-MAN is to grow out of that and embrace our masculine power and leave boyhood behind.
Take care of our half.
Without responsibility, men are like children, always living in play without the joy of finding a more profound expression of who they are.
If you want more meaning in life, then you need to start by taking more responsibility. If you want better relationships, then you need to take more responsibility for the ones you have.
You need to take responsibility for the decisions that led you to be in our current situation. The more responsibility you take, the better your life will become. Responsibility empowers you to take control and is free of blame.
Blame is a boy who is a victim and seeks to deflect and stay in the safety of old stories and bullshit excuses. Responsibility is a man who is an owner of his faults, connecting to his strength and powerfully moving forward to write his future.
Men, step back, examine yourself if you dare, look in the mirror, go inside, if you don't like what you see, do something, and take responsibility.
That's what being a hu-man is. That's what being masculine is. —taking responsibility and looking in the mirror—doing the work necessary to grow from childhood to adulthood. Not JUST DOING, DOING for the sake of DOING. But being, being, present for ourselves and our loved ones.
Like a neglected child, your "shadow" will continue to undermine your thoughts, conscious mind, and actions by convincing you you're not worthy, that you cannot do it, you are too wounded, and that you should stay up till 2 am watching porn and masturbating.
Relationships, as you used to know them, are dead. The patriarchy is dead. Do you want to be a fuck-boy?
Or the ruler over your Kingdom?!
So it's time to wake up and blossom into a powerful masculine. No. Not by comparing and controlling, but by receiving and embracing. Otherwise, that same "shadow" will continue to cause you to get reactive when you need most to be grounded. It will convince you that acting like an idiot is the best course of action when emotional intelligence is needed. It will convince you to hide your truth, strength, and abilities because it needs to feed off the shame of your inaction.
Showing off how big your gun collection is or how valuable your dick is doesn't manifest a conscious relationship; at best, it will attract and keep anyone not worth having around. So raise your standards. Know your worth.
Take the protection off, because I see you.
So on this International Men's Day; let's start by becoming human first and grow into men.
Open, trustworthy, connected men. Where integrity is our highest value.
It's time for your journey to begin, peeling those layers away, embracing that vulnerable inner boy and releasing him, and allow that strong, connected, and powerful masculine King to rise.