This past full moon was extremely challenging for me.
I noticed myself reverting to antiquated limiting beliefs, patterns, and fears related to a future state.
My level of attempted self-sabotage reached "next level" proportions.
This took some doing, reaching out to friends, and all the tools in my box, but I remained in alert presence through the process.
I observed myself creating these elaborate stories on what should happen, what might happen, and what it would look like—a prevalent theme for me—something I discovered in Vipassana a few years ago.
I go to a future state, try to control, and take massive action.
The other scenario is it paralyzes me and I sabotage a good thing, hide, disconnect, and justify it with my rational mind completely ignoring my intuition.
Sometimes I like to think I have this figured out… The reality is, I don't.
Even the world's most celebrated "coaches," "experts," and PHDs, don't have their wounds of the soul sorted out completely.
We are ALL recovering from something, whether you choose to notice it or not.
That is why self-love is a journey with no finish line.
The intention is to get better with every cycle and raise the love of collective consciousness.
This goes out to the divine men, but also the divine women out there.
Even though divine men need to take more responsibility for healing the wounds that perpetuate their self-destructive behavior, I believe that divine women also need to provide warmth and kindness.
I think it’s important to realize that men have been groomed to adhere to these ancestral beliefs of "having it all together."
The same belief system that led men not to express their deepest desires, loves and pain, self-abandoning, by desperately trying to conform to this self-destructive social construct.
For a long time in history, men have been bred not to express emotions (except anger & rage), not to reveal weakness, and to be a leader no matter the costs of adhering to this antiquated paradigm.
A paradigm that promotes isolation, competitiveness, violence to self, and others.
This old paradigm is especially critical at this time in history where fear, hate, division are at their peak.
Even though divine men are being called to take full responsibility, I believe that divine women can also see, hear, and hold space for the fathers, brothers, uncles, and partners in their lives while realizing that thousands of years of cultural conditions take time to release and recalibrate.
The divine man is asking for compassion.
The divine man is asking for kindness.
The divine man is asking for love.