If you're overly cautious in romantic relationships, you may unconsciously be responding to your upbringing or a challenging relationship with a parent. Maybe you had an emotionally unstable or controlling authority figure who didn't prioritize nurturing you, which left you feeling anxious and unworthy.
Even now, your understanding of intimacy might be in response to being able to survive on your own. You might be fearful in ways that you're unaware of because the vulnerability is so embedded.
When you do find someone you really care about it can feel scary. You want to be with them, but at the same time feel like they're going to hurt you, and oftentimes they do.
It's possible you've created a strategy of avoiding anyone who has the potential to harm you. You might unconsciously self-sabotage by rejecting healthy partners or find yourself guarded, anxious, and uneasy in relationships, anticipating something overwhelming is going to happen.
Realize that you don't need anyone to take care of you. You already have all the necessary strength inside you. Rather than looking for a replacement caretaker, learn to nurture yourself first and foremost.
Focus on prioritizing your needs and radically loving yourself unconditionally - you don't need someone outside of you to fulfil this need.
Never define who you are by whom you're with, or base your happiness on what anyone else thinks, says OR your relationship status.