How "distance" yourself from 2021

Dec 28, 2021

I've always been fascinated with new years resolutions.

I remember posting something three years ago and expressing how they don't work!

Just look at gym membership attendance rates from January and how they drop off by over 50% by mid-February.

Now, this does not mean that they don't work for everyone or that change is not possible; it just means you need to get curious around the root cause of why you stopped going to the gym or not releasing that toxic relationship once and for all or why you didn't start that dream business.

There is no doubt that we all want to change our patterns and behaviors, but a part of us wants to stay in that zone of comfort because change can be scary.

But there is a better version of us on the other side of fear. Better health, wealth, and relationships are available to all of us because it's our birthright and we all have hidden potential.

Are you ready to greet 2022 with ease and grace? By embracing your inner divine soul? Make a lasting change?

All...

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Suffering and resistance to what is...

Dec 13, 2021

Throughout our life, we all experience some levels of emotional and physical suffering. It's part of the human experience. Whether it's the loss of a relationship, a health issue or the emotional pain and discomfort in everyday life situations.

The root of our suffering can oftentimes be rooted back to a circumstance or situation that is not in full alignment with our core beliefs, values, and expectations we carry. We believe that a particular situation should go a certain way, so in turn, we develop a level of resistance. We push back with all of our strength. The longer we stay and cultivate that resistance, the more we suffer. Often the suffering is displayed with anger, anxiety, reactions, frustration, and complaining.

In these cases, our ego is triggered as it refuses to accept. This lack of awareness and immediate dismissal of the present moment is where the suffering really begins by creating stories. The more elaborate the story we've created about the situation, the more...

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This relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate.

Dec 07, 2021

I've almost literally stopped showing up on my social media platforms with maybe just a few posts and not much more than that.

Why? Because my soul is calling for some time off and to be alone.

I needed time to recharge and I may even need MORE time.

I cannot possibly show up powerfully to you or in my relationship by feeling overwhelmed, tired, or worn out.

I needed time to be with me.

The most important relationship we have in our lives is with ourselves. -- this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate.

This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another and abandon ourselves in small ways at first and then, often, almost totally.

Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest alignment and potential.

By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can...

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"Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him." Aldous Huxley

Nov 19, 2021
All of life's obstacles, challenges, and heartbreaks shape us, whether they've been created or we are just victims of circumstance.
 
They mold us into whom we CHOOSE to be.
 
How we rise from those situations speaks to our integrity.
 
What we do with that experience is what sets us apart from the ordinary man.
 
An ascended man does not ignore the situation and wishes the experience away.
 
An ascended man does not blame another.
 
An ascended man does not avoid the lessons and the healing.
 
An ascended man does not spiritually bypass.
 
An ascended man faces the experience head-on.
 
An ascended man learns from his lessons and dives deeper into his healing.
 
An ascended man takes responsibility for his part without guilt and shame.
 
An ascended man connects into his heart.
 
An ascended man commits to become a better man.
 
An ascended man shares his love...
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"Upleveling" your next relationship experience requires you to level up!—no such thing as something for nothing.

Nov 18, 2021
Our past relationship experience taught us what lessons we needed to learn.
 
If you continue to ignore the lessons and neglect the healing that your past relationship is asking of you, you will continue to settle for the same sh**ty relationship and call it "awww I am just unlucky" or "it's not in the cards for me." or sarcastically say "I get all the crazies"
 
The consequence of not diving deeper into our soul's patterns and habits becomes a place of scarcity and perpetual tolerance.
 
Raising our standards or not even knowing what our standards are is an injustice, especially when we don't connect fully to what and who we are choosing.
 
Healing and expansion require us to create space for miracles to appear. We need to show up to receive what we truly desire and also release what no longer serves.
 
Not just relationships that don't fit in, but releasing our own behaviors that don't fit into what we truly want. It's about being that...
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Relationships are a soul contract.

Nov 09, 2021

We often have a hard time letting go of people that are not a good fit for us or not choosing us back as they should.

But one of the absolute requirements of a relationship is that both people choose each other.

It may sound weird, but this is the absolute truth.

It's a contract agreed upon by BOTH souls.

And if only one person agrees, it's not a relationship; it quickly becomes a "situationship."

It becomes someone hurting, wishing, grasping, and engaging in childlike behaviors.

So often, we don't realize that this hurt comes in at an early age when we had a parent or caregiver not there for us when we needed them the most, and so we are magnetically drawn to these people that don't entirely choose us and are not there for us as well.

It may sound too obvious, but part of the prerequisites of a relationship is someone that chooses you back. A all in, despite the challenges that a union brings.

Because it's in those challenging moments is when we turn towards each other and...

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If it often feels uncertain, tumultuous, and unpleasant - it's not love.

Oct 27, 2021
It can often be easy for us to remain in the push-pull pattern of the anxious and avoidant dynamic with someone.
 
This toxicity can often mask itself as authentic love when it's often a reflection of an attachment wound we've not healed.
 
Often, it can feel stimulating and very addicting, masking as this "special magnetic bond" story we keep telling ourselves so we can justify staying and enduring a chaotic reality.
 
These toxic relationship cycles are not only harmful, but they also prevent us from evolving and growing.
 
It is often difficult to recognize this because our cultural conditioning, media, and ridiculous daytime television reinforce this push and pull harmful "drama."
 
There is a much more peaceful and healthy way because extraordinary relationships don't have drama and turmoil as pre-requisites; they are rooted in safety, maturity, and growth.
 
This means to take responsibility and overcome these patterns and draw a healthy boundary...
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Your life is unfolding if you will allow it.

Oct 18, 2021

Shortly after an ending, especially in relationships, it can be absolutely terrifying in that critical time. I remember getting laid off in 2008, and there were so many unknowns... who am I without my career? How will my life unfold now? Holy crap, who's going to pay the mortgage!

This is especially terrifying in love and relationships.

Everything is nothing of what it looked like. Everything is blurred, and anxiety sets in because we don't know where life is taking us... not realizing that we are in the driver's seat and can go anywhere we want. We just need to put the fuel in and go.

If you are currently in this critical time, remember that...

In those moments where it is so hard to know who you are, what you want or the direction you are heading... you are building a new path to greatness.

Don't just quit and roll over just because you don't know where you are going.

The Universe is presenting you with a clean slate; you just need to be open to growth and healing. The Universe...

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People that go from relationship to relationship often use them as a way to avoid their own wounds.

Oct 11, 2021

Quick Thought:

People that go from relationship to relationship often use them as a way to avoid their own wounds. And by never taking time to be alone or single they also never take the time to face and heal those wounds.

Relationships are an opportunity to go heal our wounds. There is no question. If we accept the invitation. They are a speedway to revealing those childhood patterns that stemmed from our own unique environments we grew up in.

There is no question relationships are an opportunity to go heal our wounds. If we accept the invitation. They are a speedway to revealing those patterns that stemmed from our own unique environments we grew up in. But often it can be very subtle. To the point where we are not even aware of those patterns and we keep repeating them because we don't take the time to go inward to understand them.

Because going in feels uncomfortable and we would just rather move on to the next person to unconsciously shield ourselves from that pain.
...

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LIVE: Q&A - Questions Answered!

Sep 29, 2021
 

LIVE: Questions Answered

To ask a question, go to www.mikefanelli.com/askmike

1. What steps do I take to get to the place where you are comfortable about letting go you will lose them forever?
2. How do you get unstuck from this sadness after 4 months of progress that seems like it is not enough.
3. I have realized I have a huge problem giving. How do I know where my boundaries are?
4. How do I stop all communication? I am afraid of losing his friendship. Every time we speak I feel like I taking a step backward.
5. My ex and I were together for three years but wanted two different relationships - him open and me monogamous. We both tried to become different from the other but could not. It created a lot of unsafely. It was so painful and we ultimately broke up because he wants love that allows for casual sexual encounters or other ‘love’. I hate it. I'm so judgemental that he would choose this over us. it feels so cheap and unsafe to me. Now I'm afraid. I'm afraid everyone...

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