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With this intention, I am very proud and happy to announce the birth of the Divine Soul Connection Community!
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We often believe that this journey is about going from point A to point B. That point B being this state of enlightenment, bliss, a new place we've never been before. But the heroic journey is not a voyage from A to B.
This journey closely matches that of our intimate relationships.
Hear me out.
We leave a familiar surrounding of childhood, subconsciously seeking to have our unmet needs fulfilled. We navigate wounded, bare, hopelessly seeking, passing through various partnerships and conflicts, heartbreaks, and unknown territories, only realizing that those needs are still not being met.
So we blame the other, we get bitter, frustrated, desperate, and then eventually we give up, stay single because "it's easier." Slowly, we silently blame ourselves, settling into a state of inadequacy. Wishing and WAITING that one day, that person will appear.
Because childhood needs are the same as we need in adulthood, this journey (if we are brave to embark on it) carries us back to where we...
When I look back upon the first 30 adult years of my life, I see how asleep I truly was. I was "thriving." I had the education, the career, climbing the corporate ladder, the houses, the cars, "the wife", the social and family life. But to be honest, I was not truly paying attention. I was asleep. I was lost.
I was living a life based on my cultural and societal conditioning. I got a job I was taught to have. I was raised believing in a religion I did not completely agree with and followed the relationship blueprint. The reality is I was on cruise control, living a life following a GPS location in which the destination was set for me. I didn't really question any of it, well, because that's what people did, and disabling the destination instructions would open up a door to shaming, guilting, and even possible societal scrutiny.
I was in relationships, but they all lacked intimacy. Why? Because I avoided all the hard conversations that required me to get uncomfortable, naked, and...
This past full moon was extremely challenging for me.
I noticed myself reverting to antiquated limiting beliefs, patterns, and fears related to a future state.
My level of attempted self-sabotage reached "next level" proportions.
This took some doing, reaching out to friends, and all the tools in my box, but I remained in alert presence through the process.
I observed myself creating these elaborate stories on what should happen, what might happen, and what it would look like—a prevalent theme for me—something I discovered in Vipassana a few years ago.
I go to a future state, try to control, and take massive action.
The other scenario is it paralyzes me and I sabotage a good thing, hide, disconnect, and justify it with my rational mind completely ignoring my intuition.
Sometimes I like to think I have this figured out… The reality is, I don't.
Even the world's most celebrated "coaches," "experts," and PHDs, don't have their wounds of the soul...
Love is a "FINAL SALE"
Do we often feel RIPPED OFF when we loved them so much and got nothing back? Absolutely.
Do we feel like we want a refund? It appears that most of us do. BUT THINK, for a moment.
Love is Love.
Limiting how we love with the expectation of someone loving us back the same way is unrealistic at times, but not just that. Loving wholeheartedly and then wanting a refund because they didn't show up? May seem like great retribution. It feels good... fuck'em, right?
BUT wait, this means we are going against our own nature to go "whole" in and then maybe regretting it -- it's just not part of the LOVE no refund policy!
LOVE is the highest frequency in which we can vibrate on. The more we love, the more we rise to those realms that only a few can reach. Isn't that how we want to vibrate?
Our ability and effort to show love and create love and be loving is our soul's highest calling. The inability for someone not loving us back, not receiving our love or not thinking...
"YOU ARE NOT A MAN!!" She exclaimed as tears rolled down her face.
Ouch, that hurt.
Well, it was true. I was a hurt little boy for most of my "adult" life.
Today. Yes! International Men's Day in 2020!
The day in which fathers, brothers, grandfathers, uncles are recognized. I see you. So much love.
This post may trigger you. I will not apologize for that.
I will not be celebrating!
I will not celebrate while suicide rates rise.
I will not celebrate the dysfunctionality.
I will not celebrate the excessive use of porn, guns, power, alcohol, drugs, violence, rape, and wars.
Because if we're celebrating that, I'm not interested.
I am interested in celebrating change. Change for this planet. Transformation for humanity.
International Men's day is for men, not for boys.
I see a lot of boys.
I see a lot of boys disguised as men. Walking around doing "their thing."
Doing everything, except doing the work that's necessary to grow the fuck up.
Does this trigger you? Then maybe...
If you're overly cautious in romantic relationships, you may unconsciously be responding to your upbringing or a challenging relationship with a parent. Maybe you had an emotionally unstable or controlling authority figure who didn't prioritize nurturing you, which left you feeling anxious and unworthy.
Even now, your understanding of intimacy might be in response to being able to survive on your own. You might be fearful in ways that you're unaware of because the vulnerability is so embedded.
When you do find someone you really care about it can feel scary. You want to be with them, but at the same time feel like they're going to hurt you, and oftentimes they do.
It's possible you've created a strategy of avoiding anyone who has the potential to harm you. You might unconsciously self-sabotage by rejecting healthy partners or find yourself guarded, anxious, and uneasy in relationships, anticipating something overwhelming is going to happen.
Realize that you don't need anyone to...
There is a journey unfolding within you right now.
It's the journey of reconnecting to your intuition and inner guidance.
Learning how to connect to our inner voice and to our deepest feelings is an opportunity for us to get inquisitive and to connect to our authentic self, the self that existed before the programming and the beliefs we were exposed to as children.
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How happy you are is proportional to how much of your life you're prepared to take responsibility for.
One of our greatest fears is that we are not in control of our lives and destiny.
However, I would argue that an even greater fear is that we ARE in control in some ways.
It's convenient to think fate or others' actions control our lives because it gives us excuses and escape routes for the perceived failures we have in our lives.
Look around your life right now at everything you have and get ready to be very honest with yourself.
Who is responsible for where you are in your life?
Who is responsible for the job you have, the house you live in, your relationship, and the love and tenderness you have together? or if you are single, do you give yourself the joy and care you desire?
Who is responsible for the state of mind you were in this morning about something you can't even remember?
Your partner, parents, children, teachers, society, social media, friends, the yappy...
Our soul wants to awaken us. It invites us to embody the breadth of our consciousness. It wants to lead us into undiscovered areas.
The soul yearns for beauty, creativity, and imagination. It deeply connects us to belonging, intimacy, and authentic sovereignty. A big part of this journey is truly touching our soul's desire.
But there is a part of us that I call the inner saboteur. That obscure part of us that wants to pull us down into isolation and separate us from our truest calling. That part of us that questions our right to belong. Feeding off our self-rejection when we play safe by staying small.
Part of this journey is to break free of those patterns and step into our rightful freedom and defeat the inner saboteur within us. Release ourselves from the attachment we have with "Old Agreements." Those agreements that we created in this "wounded inner childlike" state; driven by doubt and disconnection from our authentic self. Agreements that we may have set early in our lives...