DO THIS TO ATTRACT A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE.

Apr 07, 2021
 

Exercise:

Answer the following questions to help you understand why it feels like a discrepancy between your authentic self and the person you needed to be. 

  1. How did you learn to get the love you needed?
  2. What behaviors did you engage in to be accepted by your family, co-workers, friends, and partners?
  3. What character role did you have to play?

 

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What True self-love and empowerment REALLY is.

Mar 22, 2021
We often look for validation in others. Forgetting how amazing we are on our own. We seek and hope someone else sees us fully. That they recognize that we are worthy, that we are remarkable, and accept us despite our shortcomings. They may at first, maybe for a while, and then maybe it stops, slows down.... it irritates you, and maybe you fight and your start to disconnect.
 
Suddenly we don't receive that anymore and a part of us feels rejected. We feel less than and even wonder if we are worthy of love. If someone will really love us. Fully. This is painful. What a terrible feeling. To so desperately wanting someone just to choose us.
 
The heart hurts.
 
I remember being there. Desperately looking for attention and acceptance from my partners. When I look back, I think "wow, I must have been high maintenance" -- LOL -- I may have been. BUT this was not sustainable.
 
The result was desperation, wanting to control, frustration, anger, and eventually...
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Come In from The Winter.

Mar 08, 2021

How much of our time do we waste trying to cover who we are when all we really want is to be loved? How much energy do we spend being angry, when underneath it all is the pain that our soul needs revealing? How much of our presence is consumed when we hide in fear of not having the faith to heal?

So often we hesitate to speak our mind, being direct, and allow our truth to flow. We’ve been so used to adding layers of comfort and protection that we often forget how to feel the world around us. So we contract. A thin layer becomes a full armor and we begin to feel lonely, overcompensate, disconnect, disassociate, and the best parts of us, dissolve, and over time diminishes our sense of joy and peace.

It can often feel like when we put a pair of gloves on a cold winter day. We touch things within our grasp, but we forget how they really feel. Almost holding too tightly as our “sense of feeling” has faded, like the warmth of our soul. Like a cold winter night, the...

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The oscillation between progress & resistance

Jan 21, 2021

The oscillation between progress & resistance is a natural part of our growth journey.

Moving towards the light of our awareness calls out those demons inside us that get in our way of progress.

Our wounded ego, our wounded inner child, our psyche does not want to give up the stories we've created in our minds.

This journey often triggers deep resistance within us.

This oscillation to resistance serves an important role, however. It reminds us of our human-ness; it tests our commitment; it highlights where we want to self-sabotage.

Our responsibility is to turn that awareness into insight and stand up to those forces inside us that want to give up and remain in our dysfunctional patterns because it's so much easier than doing the work of adulting.

This is what resistance looks like: FEAR, SHAME, GUILT, AGGRESSION, JUDGEMENT and many more that serve only one purpose: to protect that part of us, the ego that wants to resist transformation, growth, and eventually our divine...

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The Divine Soul Connection Community is here

Jan 15, 2021

As 2021 has rolled around, one of my goals is to slowly migrate into platforms that foster Freedom and guarantee that the content you are looking for is there for you to easily find and see.

With this intention, I am very proud and happy to announce the birth of the Divine Soul Connection Community!

If you are interested in joining and continue to read and absorb new content I invite you to join us at: https://www.mikefanelli.com/offers/bpuJuQB5/checkout

Much Love

Mike

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Returning back to you

Jan 05, 2021

We often believe that this journey is about going from point A to point B. That point B being this state of enlightenment, bliss, a new place we've never been before. But the heroic journey is not a voyage from A to B.

This journey closely matches that of our intimate relationships.

Hear me out.

We leave a familiar surrounding of childhood, subconsciously seeking to have our unmet needs fulfilled. We navigate wounded, bare, hopelessly seeking, passing through various partnerships and conflicts, heartbreaks, and unknown territories, only realizing that those needs are still not being met.

So we blame the other, we get bitter, frustrated, desperate, and then eventually we give up, stay single because "it's easier." Slowly, we silently blame ourselves, settling into a state of inadequacy. Wishing and WAITING that one day, that person will appear.

Because childhood needs are the same as we need in adulthood, this journey (if we are brave to embark on it) carries us back to where we...

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LOOKING AHEAD TO 2021

Dec 31, 2020

When I look back upon the first 30 adult years of my life, I see how asleep I truly was. I was "thriving." I had the education, the career, climbing the corporate ladder, the houses, the cars, "the wife", the social and family life. But to be honest, I was not truly paying attention. I was asleep. I was lost.

I was living a life based on my cultural and societal conditioning. I got a job I was taught to have. I was raised believing in a religion I did not completely agree with and followed the relationship blueprint. The reality is I was on cruise control, living a life following a GPS location in which the destination was set for me. I didn't really question any of it, well, because that's what people did, and disabling the destination instructions would open up a door to shaming, guilting, and even possible societal scrutiny.

I was in relationships, but they all lacked intimacy. Why? Because I avoided all the hard conversations that required me to get uncomfortable, naked, and...

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Men Need Your Support

Dec 15, 2020

This past full moon was extremely challenging for me.

I noticed myself reverting to antiquated limiting beliefs, patterns, and fears related to a future state.

My level of attempted self-sabotage reached "next level" proportions.

This took some doing, reaching out to friends, and all the tools in my box, but I remained in alert presence through the process.

I observed myself creating these elaborate stories on what should happen, what might happen, and what it would look like—a prevalent theme for me—something I discovered in Vipassana a few years ago.

I go to a future state, try to control, and take massive action.

The other scenario is it paralyzes me and I sabotage a good thing, hide, disconnect, and justify it with my rational mind completely ignoring my intuition.

Sometimes I like to think I have this figured out… The reality is, I don't.

Nobody does.

Even the world's most celebrated "coaches," "experts," and PHDs, don't have their wounds of the soul...

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Love is a Final Sale

Dec 12, 2020

Love is a "FINAL SALE"

Do we often feel RIPPED OFF when we loved them so much and got nothing back? Absolutely.

Do we feel like we want a refund? It appears that most of us do. BUT THINK, for a moment.

Love is Love.

Limiting how we love with the expectation of someone loving us back the same way is unrealistic at times, but not just that. Loving wholeheartedly and then wanting a refund because they didn't show up? May seem like great retribution. It feels good... fuck'em, right?

BUT wait, this means we are going against our own nature to go "whole" in and then maybe regretting it -- it's just not part of the LOVE no refund policy!

LOVE is the highest frequency in which we can vibrate on. The more we love, the more we rise to those realms that only a few can reach. Isn't that how we want to vibrate?

Our ability and effort to show love and create love and be loving is our soul's highest calling. The inability for someone not loving us back, not receiving our love or not thinking...

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If you are a man and want to be in a thriving relationship you need to grow up.

Dec 04, 2020

"YOU ARE NOT A MAN!!" She exclaimed as tears rolled down her face.

Ouch, that hurt.

Well, it was true. I was a hurt little boy for most of my "adult" life.

Today. Yes! International Men's Day in 2020!

The day in which fathers, brothers, grandfathers, uncles are recognized. I see you. So much love.

--- BUT---

This post may trigger you. I will not apologize for that.

I will not be celebrating!

I will not celebrate while suicide rates rise.

I will not celebrate the dysfunctionality.

I will not celebrate the excessive use of porn, guns, power, alcohol, drugs, violence, rape, and wars.

Because if we're celebrating that, I'm not interested.

I am interested in celebrating change. Change for this planet. Transformation for humanity.

International Men's day is for men, not for boys.

I see a lot of boys.

I see a lot of boys disguised as men. Walking around doing "their thing."

Doing everything, except doing the work that's necessary to grow the fuck up.

Does this trigger you? Then maybe...

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