Often when we are in a relationship, we put our needs second. We allow the value of "the relationship" to be higher than our own worth. We stay quiet, don't claim what we want and need, fearing that it will create a "crack" and harm the relationship—not realizing that our silence creates harm to ourselves.
We will often choose and make decisions based on the notion that our value is the "being chosen by someone else."
Until they don't!
Then we feel rejected, and it's painful.
And then we realize how we've self-abandoned while in the relationship.
But with every situation that appears negative, it's actually a gift and an invitation for us to grow. It's an opportunity to reconnect to ourselves, reconnect with our true essence, what we want, and how we want to live our lives—genuinely embracing our worth—realizing what we won't tolerate going forward.
How long do we remain in a relationship filled with dysfunctionality, in fear, and believing we are not enough?
Your core values are your belief system. It’s like an operating system you live by. When we don’t know our values, we may find ourselves living on cruise control and not feeling alive!
If we don’t know what we value, we are living a life without direction.
It’s that simple...
How can we create the love we want in our lives if we don’t even know what we value the most?
Love without knowing your values is living someone else’s life. In most cases, in relationships, it’s what our partner wants. Making the focal point around someone else and not you!
IDENTIFY YOUR PERSONAL VALUES AND CREATE A LIFE IN ALIGNMENT WITH WHAT YOU TRULY DESIRE.
Investing a little time discovering your personal values can save you decades of suffering by showing you what living in alignment means for you.
Knowing your values will allow you to raise your standards, stop settling for less than you deserve, and manifest your soul’s desires.
IDENTIFYING YOUR PERSONAL...
Do you make a little progress toward your goals and objectives, only to relapse again into old destructive habits? Are you confused by how frequently you get off track and wonder why?
As humans, we have this incredible ability not to let ourselves win; we'll quit before we even start.
Here is the reality, if you are not moving in the direction of what you say you want, there is a good chance you are sabotaging yourself somewhere. Most of what we fail at in life has little to do with resources, time, money, skill, or intelligence.
Whatever form it takes -- whether unhealthy habits or limiting thought patterns —self-sabotage always reduces the passion we need to make our dreams come true.
Self-sabotage is the outward manifestation (via action and inaction) of our inner feelings of guilt, resentment, and unworthiness. The bottom line is we only create as much love, fulfilment, prosperity, and joy as we feel we are worthy of having—all at a subconscious level.
You may be in...
Gaining awareness of the areas of your life where you self-sabotage will allow you to finally release the limiting patterns that prevent you from experiencing the fulfilling life that you desire.
Often, when we want to move towards our deepest desires, engage in any activity that invites expansion, or embracing our gifts and 'superpowers', we will undermine ourselves and be tempted to quit.
Buying into the false beliefs that convince us that we are not worthy. So we self-sabotage and feed the 'character' inside ourselves that says: "Who's going to love you?" "You don't have what it takes." "You will never amount to anything…" or "You will always be _________."
THIS 'character' is what I call the "inner saboteur."
Your inner saboteur:
Exists in very sneaky ways, and it can sneak up unexpectedly and keep you stuck in your old thought patterns and actions.
Can slow you down by having you engage in unhealthy habits.
Reduces your passion and vitality.
Can often slow you down...
We need to unlearn everything about relationships.
Nobody can make you happy, not are they responsible.
We are not responsible to make someone else happy.
You're not a saviour.
Cupid, Valentine's Day and Disney are not the building blocks to solid relationships. You are that block.
we need to learn new beliefs, new patterns, know ourselves, what we need and want and be real.
It's our time to feel worthy and feel free
I invite you to share this post in your socials if you agree.
People often ask me, what is self-love?
So today I wanted to take a moment and share with you my philosophy.
Self-love, in a nutshell, is the journey of rediscovering your wholeness and attaining inner peace through the intentional practices of self-discovering, self-acceptance, and radical self-care.
It is an all-encompassing discipline of acknowledging your self-worth, being kind toward yourself, and fostering your self-growth with tools and practices throughout your life.
It is not a short term "quick-fix." as you are not broken or need repair.
Along with acknowledging your worth, needs, and goals, self-love requires the strength to recognize your vulnerabilities, challenges, and obstacles. As you do this your choices of people and situations around you shift, which leads to a better quality of life.
Self-love requires humbleness, compassion, and care for yourself for a lifetime.
The quickest way to become how you want to be is to surround yourself with people on the same vibrational frequency.
Something that unavoidably happens when you step into transformational work and create meaningful shifts in your relationship with yourself and other parts of your life is that some of the people who have been with you will no longer resonate with you.
Part of the reason for this is because you will start to notice that the relationships you thought were serving you were actually built on wounding and fear-based choices.
When you begin stepping out of your comfort zone and seeing yourself say and do things differently than what they have been used to seeing, the people around you will be deeply triggered with their own limiting beliefs.
You may hear phrases like, "you've changed,", even sarcastically. But with every sarcastic remark, there is an element of fear and truth.
If those people are in a good place in life, they will be happy for you. If they are not...
What a beautiful way to self-love when you begin to realize that you are drawn to the people that are well below your worth. To catch yourself and not chase them down.
This journey is about retraining yourself, your old patterns, and learning new ones.
Our empowerment is in recognition of the old patterns and what poor choices you’ve made and stop yourself. If you want a good relationship, start with you.
First take responsibility for the choices, compassionately, and train yourself to pause and reflect from a place of logic and inner intuition.
So, whether you are just fresh out of a relationship or are still manifesting a partner, this is a perfect time to look at why you were drawn to while in a previous relationship.
Why did you settle for particular behaviors? Why you allowed certain things, what you tolerated.
When you actually start to look at and take accountability for what you’ve been attracted to your perspective changes. Maybe you were attracted to...
In break up, you're not often even sure who you are anymore. Over and above that part of you that is angry, the part of you that is frustrated, in pain, and sad, there's an identity crisis happening and the thought that almost everything you know will now be different. There's also a biological shift that's going on in your body.
There are also all the things that are coming up. New things not from just this break-up. Feelings that have likely never been dealt with. So the first part of the break-up journey is getting in touch with what's going on in your mind, heart, and body. This observation allows us to see what's happening to take charge of them and become the author of this narrative. Releasing the old stories filled with shame, regret, and “should-haves.”
This moment in time is about connecting back to you. Please remind yourself all the time that you must be your first priority. Your healing is your number one priority. You will come up with all the world’s...
One of the most significant social dysfunctions we have is we validate our self-worth based on our relationship status. So the premise is that if someone chooses us, we are worthy of being chosen.
So, we send ourselves a message that "my self worth is in the act of being chosen," not us consciously doing the choosing.
Essentially, we count on someone outside of ourselves to be responsible for our value, validate, and accept us.
We cannot be blamed entirely for this phenomenon because there also is this acceptable societal hierarchy when it comes to relationships. If we are married, we are at the top of the pyramid. Engaged is below that and single almost at the bottom. If we are divorced, we are shamed and relegated, even lower than being single.
What is disturbing about this pyramid is that we tend to value ourselves and other people with that same criteria. We assume that someone single is miserable and "should" have someone. Or even worse, there is something wrong with them.