If you're overly cautious in romantic relationships, you may unconsciously be responding to your upbringing or a challenging relationship with a parent. Maybe you had an emotionally unstable or controlling authority figure who didn't prioritize nurturing you, which left you feeling anxious and unworthy.
Even now, your understanding of intimacy might be in response to being able to survive on your own. You might be fearful in ways that you're unaware of because the vulnerability is so embedded.
When you do find someone you really care about it can feel scary. You want to be with them, but at the same time feel like they're going to hurt you, and oftentimes they do.
It's possible you've created a strategy of avoiding anyone who has the potential to harm you. You might unconsciously self-sabotage by rejecting healthy partners or find yourself guarded, anxious, and uneasy in relationships, anticipating something overwhelming is going to happen.
Realize that you don't need anyone to...
There is a journey unfolding within you right now.
It's the journey of reconnecting to your intuition and inner guidance.
Learning how to connect to our inner voice and to our deepest feelings is an opportunity for us to get inquisitive and to connect to our authentic self, the self that existed before the programming and the beliefs we were exposed to as children.
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How happy you are is proportional to how much of your life you're prepared to take responsibility for.
One of our greatest fears is that we are not in control of our lives and destiny.
However, I would argue that an even greater fear is that we ARE in control in some ways.
It's convenient to think fate or others' actions control our lives because it gives us excuses and escape routes for the perceived failures we have in our lives.
Look around your life right now at everything you have and get ready to be very honest with yourself.
Who is responsible for where you are in your life?
Who is responsible for the job you have, the house you live in, your relationship, and the love and tenderness you have together? or if you are single, do you give yourself the joy and care you desire?
Who is responsible for the state of mind you were in this morning about something you can't even remember?
Your partner, parents, children, teachers, society, social media, friends, the yappy...
Our soul wants to awaken us. It invites us to embody the breadth of our consciousness. It wants to lead us into undiscovered areas.
The soul yearns for beauty, creativity, and imagination. It deeply connects us to belonging, intimacy, and authentic sovereignty. A big part of this journey is truly touching our soul's desire.
But there is a part of us that I call the inner saboteur. That obscure part of us that wants to pull us down into isolation and separate us from our truest calling. That part of us that questions our right to belong. Feeding off our self-rejection when we play safe by staying small.
Part of this journey is to break free of those patterns and step into our rightful freedom and defeat the inner saboteur within us. Release ourselves from the attachment we have with "Old Agreements." Those agreements that we created in this "wounded inner childlike" state; driven by doubt and disconnection from our authentic self. Agreements that we may have set early in our lives...
Often when we are in a relationship, we put our needs second. We allow the value of "the relationship" to be higher than our own worth. We stay quiet, don't claim what we want and need, fearing that it will create a "crack" and harm the relationship—not realizing that our silence creates harm to ourselves.
We will often choose and make decisions based on the notion that our value is the "being chosen by someone else."
Until they don't!
Then we feel rejected, and it's painful.
And then we realize how we've self-abandoned while in the relationship.
But with every situation that appears negative, it's actually a gift and an invitation for us to grow. It's an opportunity to reconnect to ourselves, reconnect with our true essence, what we want, and how we want to live our lives—genuinely embracing our worth—realizing what we won't tolerate going forward.
How long do we remain in a relationship filled with dysfunctionality, in fear, and believing we are not enough?
Your core values are your belief system. It’s like an operating system you live by. When we don’t know our values, we may find ourselves living on cruise control and not feeling alive!
If we don’t know what we value, we are living a life without direction.
It’s that simple...
How can we create the love we want in our lives if we don’t even know what we value the most?
Love without knowing your values is living someone else’s life. In most cases, in relationships, it’s what our partner wants. Making the focal point around someone else and not you!
IDENTIFY YOUR PERSONAL VALUES AND CREATE A LIFE IN ALIGNMENT WITH WHAT YOU TRULY DESIRE.
Investing a little time discovering your personal values can save you decades of suffering by showing you what living in alignment means for you.
Knowing your values will allow you to raise your standards, stop settling for less than you deserve, and manifest your soul’s desires.
IDENTIFYING YOUR PERSONAL...
Do you make a little progress toward your goals and objectives, only to relapse again into old destructive habits? Are you confused by how frequently you get off track and wonder why?
As humans, we have this incredible ability not to let ourselves win; we'll quit before we even start.
Here is the reality, if you are not moving in the direction of what you say you want, there is a good chance you are sabotaging yourself somewhere. Most of what we fail at in life has little to do with resources, time, money, skill, or intelligence.
Whatever form it takes -- whether unhealthy habits or limiting thought patterns —self-sabotage always reduces the passion we need to make our dreams come true.
Self-sabotage is the outward manifestation (via action and inaction) of our inner feelings of guilt, resentment, and unworthiness. The bottom line is we only create as much love, fulfilment, prosperity, and joy as we feel we are worthy of having—all at a subconscious level.
You may be in...
Gaining awareness of the areas of your life where you self-sabotage will allow you to finally release the limiting patterns that prevent you from experiencing the fulfilling life that you desire.
Often, when we want to move towards our deepest desires, engage in any activity that invites expansion, or embracing our gifts and 'superpowers', we will undermine ourselves and be tempted to quit.
Buying into the false beliefs that convince us that we are not worthy. So we self-sabotage and feed the 'character' inside ourselves that says: "Who's going to love you?" "You don't have what it takes." "You will never amount to anything…" or "You will always be _________."
THIS 'character' is what I call the "inner saboteur."
Your inner saboteur:
Exists in very sneaky ways, and it can sneak up unexpectedly and keep you stuck in your old thought patterns and actions.
Can slow you down by having you engage in unhealthy habits.
Reduces your passion and vitality.
Can often slow you down...
We need to unlearn everything about relationships.
Nobody can make you happy, not are they responsible.
We are not responsible to make someone else happy.
You're not a saviour.
Cupid, Valentine's Day and Disney are not the building blocks to solid relationships. You are that block.
we need to learn new beliefs, new patterns, know ourselves, what we need and want and be real.
It's our time to feel worthy and feel free
I invite you to share this post in your socials if you agree.
People often ask me, what is self-love?
So today I wanted to take a moment and share with you my philosophy.
Self-love, in a nutshell, is the journey of rediscovering your wholeness and attaining inner peace through the intentional practices of self-discovering, self-acceptance, and radical self-care.
It is an all-encompassing discipline of acknowledging your self-worth, being kind toward yourself, and fostering your self-growth with tools and practices throughout your life.
It is not a short term "quick-fix." as you are not broken or need repair.
Along with acknowledging your worth, needs, and goals, self-love requires the strength to recognize your vulnerabilities, challenges, and obstacles. As you do this your choices of people and situations around you shift, which leads to a better quality of life.
Self-love requires humbleness, compassion, and care for yourself for a lifetime.